Feeling House-Bound

To all the mothers out there... I know you'll understand!

House-bound is my middle name! Mady was born the end of September on a grey, drizzly day. It seemed like the nice weather disappeared and then winter was upon us. It was a cold winter and going outside was sometimes not an option. Who wants to take their baby into sub-zero temperatures? Anyway, I was so stir crazy for the first few months of her life, feeling like I had nothing to do but care for her and no time to even have a shower, shave my legs, or cut my toenails. I was totally, 100% "there" for my new baby, and was very determined to put her on a schedule. The schedule helped me cope with being stuck in the house - it gave me something to focus on. And if I didn't feel like going out one day, I could blame it on having to keep Mady on her schedule.

Some moms I know are super-moms - they take their kids all over the place every day, actually put on makeup, and have energy to spare to cook nice meals for their hubbies. I don't shower until 4pm some days, rarely put on makeup, and have exchanged coffee for food. I'm a mess! But Mady sleeps through the night and has 3 naps a day... I worked hard to get her there! And being house-bound made me do it!

Now that the weather is starting to warm up and Mady is not such a lump anymore (she's 6 months old) I am slowly crawling out of my winter hibernation. I feel like the new weather is a call to start taking care of myself again. As for what I do for myself, I joined the gym with a friend and we go to classes about twice a week - we're so out of shape that our bodies need time to recover! Getting out those two nights feels like a blessing. The baby stays home with Steve and I can stop being a mommy for a minute and just be me. Things I would like to do without the baby include joining a book club - one that meets once a month to discuss recent works of fiction. I will join one when I move to Waterdown. I also would like to take a cooking class, so I will look into that as well. I would like to go to the spa once a month and get a facial, manicure, and pedicure, and I'd like to start getting massages more often. I know you're wondering how I'll manage to fit all this into everyday life. I am wondering that too. But I will make it happen because to be a great mom you have to make time for yourself. Your whole existence can't only be about being a mother or else you'll feel resentment and isolation and lose parts of yourself. So Mady will go with the flow. And my husband will be thankful that I'm doing things for me because I'll be in a better state of mind because I will have done something for myself. Oh, and I got a maid service to clean my house once every two weeks - it makes me feel SO good to know that the house gets some attention since mine is focused on Mady and myself.

That's not to say that hanging out with Mady and being a mom is not glorious and awesome. It is! I really love being a mother, and I am sure the feeling will grow as Mady gets older and I have more children. As for what Mady and I do regularly, we sometimes go to the Ontario Early Years Centre to hear their weekly discussion and to have Mady interact and play with other kids. We also joined The Little Gym - I can't say enough about it! It's so much fun and Mady has a great time playing and flipping and doing exercises! There is a Little Gym in Oakville so we'll be joined up there when we move. We go for the occassional walk, we go to the mall for a bit of shopping, we go to Starbucks and have coffee, or to Chapters to read a book. I take great pride in being a mother and I feel fulfilled as a woman. But, it's only human to crave a break from responsibilities and to want to be a bit selfish. So I say, take the time to take care of yourself. Moms are the glue that holds a family together - we have to stay happy and healthy in body and mind, and it's okay to want to take time to nurture yourself. So go shave your legs, stick a load of laundry in the washing machine, make a meal, make a cup of coffee, have a shower, cut your nails, open your blinds, and say, "I'm staying home today because I want to." And don't feel bad about it - you'll find something to do tomorrow!